So I was running the Pathfinder Beginner Box adventure as a sort of outline for the intro to my first D&D campaign/story. There’s a point where the players meet a goblin king, Fatmouth, and his 4 lackeys.
Rather than talk to the goblins, my players attack. That’s fine, sure. So I ask them which goblin(s) they’re attacking, & just to be able to tell them apart, I pull a Critical Role & name them: Fernando, Waterloo, Mamma Mia, and Dancing Queen. Because I’m the DM & I said so, lol.
Fernando goes down. Waterloo’s down. Mamma Mia got punched to death (by the monk of course). And poor Dancing Queen, cowering now because they’re the only one left.
So Aramis, the celestial warlock, asks them, “If you swear your loyalty to me, I will allow you to live.”
Mara, the rogue/paladin, stops. “Uh, no. Goblin equals evil. I’m killing it.”
And they go back and forth for a while until we had to stop for the night. Mara’s player looks at the Warlock’s player. “She’s going to kill that damn goblin.” He laughs.
Now Aramis has a goblin riding on his back to seek shelter from Mara. I had to make a character sheet for Dancing Queen, & then one of my other players joked: “I can just see Aramis’ tinder profile. I mean, we already know what a swipe right looks like, so it must be a total menagerie…”
And… and I… I had to make this:
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